It was a long and tough weekend. On Friday, I knew what Saturday was going to be like. At least, I had an idea of how I would feel and behave. I would feel like my entire world crumbled in on top of me, just like it had a year ago on the 12th and I would behave like a stressed-out, distressed, depressed, inconsolable mom and wife. Wanting to prevent this from happening, for the sake of my husband and children, I had a thought (more like a wish) Friday afternoon. I thought that if I held my breath long enough, Saturday would just disappear - not to be seen until next weekend. Although, I knew that the next weekend was going to be (almost) just as hard. What I really wanted to do was to go away for the weekend. Ignore the date, ignore the anniversary, ignore everything that happened last year in March.
Our family has a favorite place in Tucson where we like to go to and relax. I looked up the place, checked dates and almost made reservations. I felt guilty about spending the money, using a tank or two of gas to get there and back, and making my husband, Mike, drive 2 more hours after an already 1 hour commute. Wresting kids, trying to decide what to drive-thru for dinner, and then trying to tame the kid's excitemnent of staying in a hotel (my kids really dig that), had me thinking twice about packing up to leave. While pondering this decision, I remembered that Mike had something very special planned for me on Saturday. He, along with the help of my brother, planned on installing a flag pole in front of our house as a tribute to my brother and as kind act for me. I knew that Mike took a great amount of time thinking about what he could do to show me how much he cares about me and my feelings and to make my day a little brighter. I decided not to make reservations and to stay home and let Mike carry out his kind deed.
While he and my brother fetched supplies, I took the kids to eat lunch with the in-laws. By the time we got back, this greeted me at the door:
Sunday was better. A little better. Next weekend? I may wish it gone before it comes.....